The First Day!

Well, the day finally arrived, I began my first job out of school. My first day was like anyone’s first day, little doing, but lots of watching.

However, the little I did do was highly unusual. We are working with Bright Lights, a junior high camp promoting hard science fields. The camp is amazingly great and I very much appreciate the motive, but of all the groups of students in the world, I think Junior high is the section of students that is the hardest for me to work with and God really worked in me to liven up and care for the students as they are in that transition awkward stage of life that they will later refer other moments of their life too (such as “I am currently in that junior high stage”). Today, the day began with a lesson of instructions, the students were to write instructions on how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the “UNL Teachers” (oh yes, that is what I was) were to make the sandwich according to the directions. That is right, my first real doing of my Master’s-level position was making a PB and J sandwich according to directions 7th-9th graders wrote. I am living the high life. But that is not all, I also worked to help the students make edible cars.

I am not complaining, in fact, while it is tough going from knowing all there is to know in one job to completely  being useless in another, the day was quite enjoyable. I look forward to taking lead on it next year and finding more ways to work with students in Junior High that are interested in Engineering as a field.

Moving and Allergies

Well, it is official, I do have another title – Recruitment Coordinator! With this comes the thrill of a new job but also a long move, (three blocks). I was told that this move is the hardest one we will make (I have to say my dear neighbors who moved to Japan had it worse) but this was pretty bad. Confusion and mass chaos ensued with the lack of organization, heavy items, willingness to leave items behind for another day, messiness and a lost bottle of men’s shaving cream.

Alas, it has worked, we moved (granted there is still quite a bit at the last place, but we will get it). Now comes the new adventure of the new duplex. I have realized knowing your neighbors is key, in fact even meeting them right when you move in is probably the best idea ever. We learned the hard way. Less than 48 hours of moving in, an asthma attack hit, causing confrontation with the neighbors we had yet to meet until 1:00 am after a fun breathing fit. It is difficult when you are new to place where the others have been forming habits that are probably not a big deal until randomly they get that one in every 10 thousand people that has strong asthmatic/anaphylaxis reaction to cigarette smoke. They were very generous, but it make take a couple dozen cookies to overcome this fun event in our lives.

I begin work on Monday, leaving me a bit inclined to end the blogging, but I have only a few posts and so will attempt to continue, even with the new addition of my titles.

Filing and the Work of the Lord

Right now I am a temp working at the university. I work for a great office full of people who love to help students in every way possible. It will definitely be hard to leave this job, whenever that time comes. My job is random, in fact, kind of silly at times ie: cleaning out closets, taking inventory, making sure that paperwork is in the drawer correctly, filing, organizing pictures, learning in-design, and more filing. I kind of hoped for a job like this, one that I don’t leave tired, I get to organize and not think too much, and one where I genuinely feel like I am doing something that makes a difference.

I will explain the last point in two ways: how it can be looked at, and how it should be looked at (I have done a lot of thinking about this topic over the week)

Can be:

I have to give Mr. Decker credit for bringing this to my attention. I am definitely in a role where my work is necessary, I make the office run more smoothly and it is work that needs to get done. However, my job in the grand scheme of American thought is not important, I am a temp, I work for a short time doing whatever is necessary, but I am not important.

Should be: At Grace Chapel we are going through Ecclesiastes… nothing is new under the sun right? My job is a perfect picture of this, I file and file some more and do more paperwork, and at the end of the day the paperwork drawer is full again and the filing is ready to be done again. Oh how it feels a bit endless and not new. But the thing is that I am here not for man, not for filing, but for a God who calls me to glorify Him in all that we do. I work without newness but with complete fulfillness (I know, not a word) in the God who gave me life eternal.

So, as a desperately desire a job that I can make decent wages and use my gifts to a greater extent, right now I am more than content to file and know that it is the work I am called to do for this season.

Living in Community

Over the past week I have been trying to grasp the concept of living in community with family, friends, and colleagues. I have realized that this is not easy. For one, living in community, intimate community means letting others see your strengths and short-comings, joys and sorrows. It is in the joys and strengths that you notice why you truly enjoy the community, but in the short-comings and sorrows that you begin to understand how truly connected and purposeful the community is. I have realized this with my family, church, and job as of late. In my family, I wrong them constantly and motives are perceived wrongly and bridges are singed yet never burned. No matter what, through pain, hurt, wrong-doing, frustration, and boredom, we are a family. Three new people have been added in the past two years and yet we are all family and that does not change.

Marriage has shown me this a lot. My loving husband and I are now in a state of complete unknown, we are not quite sure what we are being taught through not having a job and not getting into the school desired etc, but through the tough times, through the tough conversations, we are made stronger and are made more as one than before.

My church, Grace Chapel, is the highlight of my time in Lincoln, NE. It is a solid genuine church with the focus on the solid preaching and living out of the word. I have been there for six years now and it never ceases to amaze me how truly focused on each other the community is. Tonight, after discussing some new thoughts about the congregation and some possible changes, we prayed, we laughed, and I had a brother approach me about being in tears two weeks ago. It was truly remarkable how he knew that I was hurt and rather than staying out of it, he wanted to share in the pain and really know how to pray for me.

Work, I am a temp in a place that I have worked for two years during my graduate time. I work doing menial tasks that really help the office. Tomorrow is NSE (New Student Enrollment) and for an advising office that is probably one of the most hectic and stressful parts of the year. I have seen everyone in the office come together to help in which ever way possible and have enjoyed hearing the positive thoughts about what is to come rather than bitter complaints that could easily ensue.

I guess the point of this is that, while sharing in joys is critical to community, it is almost more important to take the plunge and share in the brutal beatings that come with disappointment, hurts, and sorrows to strengthen bonds and create a further trust to share in future joys.

Swimming, Sun, and Family

I have been in Tucson since Tuesday (try saying that ten times fast). It has been a very relaxing time seeing my mom and dad. My parents are amazing. They have a lot of opinions about everything and are always willing to share them and they are always interesting and really make me think about things based on generational perspective and how younger and older people view life and society as a whole.

Since being here I have been really enjoying the swimming pool and sun. I am not sure why I like to sweat and swim as much as I do, but for some reason it is calming through the midst of trying to figure out what Bryan and I are doing with our lives. I sure do wish there was direction, but at the moment the pool and sun are taking away much of the anxiety.

I have been truly amazed at what one can forget when just laying on a noodle (the pool noodle) in the middle of a pool under the hot sun. I am not looking forward to going back into reality, but for now, I will enjoy the rest of the pool and sun and family before Monday when I have an on-campus from 8am -7pm.

Rejection

Over the past 7 months I cannot count the number of rejection letters and emails my husband and I have received since he has been applying for medical school and I have been attempting to get a job. Through the process I have learned several things…

1. I am a prideful sinner fully deserving of never getting a job I desire

2. I am a prideful sinner saved by grace

3. I am a prideful sinner saved by grace and completely living in God’s beautiful plan… and not understanding any part of it (hence number 1 and 2).

At this point I really am not sure what to ask for, I just know that God is good (presupposition 1) God has the best in store for His children (presupposition 2) and ultimately, I am here to serve Him and only Him. So please join me in prayer for the job God desires for me and for the med school He has in store for Bryan.

Endings

Saturday I graduated. It is an odd and crazy thought that I have graduated with a Master’s degree. For the first time in twenty years I will not begin classes in the fall. At the moment I am finding myself confused and excited for the weeks ahead. The thought of not having homework in the evenings is finally setting in as my husband is looking at reviews on a DVD player we just bought and I just finished writing thank you letters for an interview I had yesterday and will write thank yous for graduation gifts tomorrow. It is amazing how one fills time when there is no scheduled events.

Graduation was somewhat of an event that I want to remember for several reasons so I commemorate it in writing. On Saturday my husband and I woke up early to get family and head to the Bob Devany Sports Center. It was a crowd of people as over 2700 graduates filled the basketball courts to commence our lives. I was a bit confused with all of it except when the speaker began he made me really think about what a privilege it was to be sitting there. I cannot understand the magnitude of opportunities that I have being in America and being at UNL in particular. I then sat through other niceties and with a small tear stood up when the graduate school was called. The change of last name with marriage left me third in line and second to receive my diploma (we go two at a time). The next two hours of sitting in the folding chairs was kind of a blur as college after college was called. Then Arts and Sciences, the largest college was called and my husband stood up along with over 700 others to receive his diploma. It was exciting for us to graduate on the same day, but the opportunity to give him a hug and kiss after his receiving of his diploma was an incredible event. Although over 7000 people could see, it was as if it were the two of us experiencing this grand event together even from across the court.

While the event took a long time and we were grouchy at the end, the event itself was one worth remembering. We did it, yet the thousands of people around really made me realize that it was not possible without those around. Without friends, family, advisers, instructors, supervisors, and peers. Ultimately, it made me realize more and more that it was impossible to do any of this without those God placed in the path for Him to support me through. It would not have been possible.

Now I venture into the unknown. It took a lot of trust today to turn down a great job offer, knowing that it is not where my family needs to be at the moment even though I have no sure position that I know of. I am living more and more each day out of trust and knowing about not being in control of my life and the importance of following truth over rationalism at times when rationalism is much easier.

For now, I live in the moment of ending, but am embarking on a new beginning, a beginning that is unknown and confusing, but one that is to occur quicker than I know.

Margarita Monday’s

Last year two of my closest friends felt that since we were all getting old and had crazy lives that we needed to carve out time to hang out consistently. Whether this is what happens when you get older or whether the three of us are just odd I am not sure, but what I know is that Margarita Monday’s began and continued once a month until this evening… cinco de mayo. It was a bit unusual as we ventured to Mazatlan and not El Potrero’s because the line was out the door. So for our final Margarita Monday we went to a different place but with the same ladies. The time we have is simple, we talk about life and enjoy chicken nachos and margaritas. I cannot express how much I appreciate these women, they can laugh at a proclamation of Master Becker or get into theological discussions with enough tequila. Ultimately, it’s laid back and enjoyable and something we all look forward to each month.

We have now come to the time that we all knew would occur when one of us would head to a different state. Our dear Kim is leaving us for VA and we will be left the two… it is interesting how people come and go, but it extra interesting how when one leaves, life changes. Will the two of us continue with the Margarita tradition without the third, or will we part from the tradition and in turn part ways? For now, I will truly be thankful for the time I have had with the ladies and will not think too much more as I recognize that too much thought too soon will result in un-needed burdening as I head into a time of mourning her move.