Yesterday I had the overwhelming understanding of my own selfishness. I have been thinking strongly about the going-ons in my life, much of which has affected and/or altered my current path and focus in life. However, the whole time I went through (the stages of dying if you will) denial – this cannot happen, no way, all will pass. Anger – are you kidding me, why am “I” having all this going on, why am I so blah blah blah? Yesterday, I hit grief, not in the sense that I had expected however. This whole time that I have been selfishly thinking about myself, there are many others that have been around me with difficulties and struggles and all I could think about was myself. Then Pastor Ben reminded me that the reason we work, the reason we live is for God and God alone, I am not called to work purely for the monetary benefit, I am not called to love my husband because he is so dang cute and easy to love , I am not called to be in community because of what it will give me, I am called to do all to the glory of God! Somewhere along the lines I lost that focus, I lost that knowledge, however, it is the Truth! Truth is not something that is easy to hide from, but it sometimes easily forgotten. My prayer is that I become more consistently reminded of my role in this world, not for myself, but for Him alone. This will be a difficult journey, one that I will fail at tremendously, but since this is now written down, one that will not be as easily forgotten.

From March 14-24th Bryan and I had the incredible opportunity to travel to Greece on a study abroad trip for the College of Engineering. Ten days in which we were able to see Athens, Santorini, Delphi, Nafplia, Corinth, Olympia, and Mycenae. We did a lot of sitting on a bus and plane, but were able to see and learn about some of the greatest-still standing images of the ancient world, and I mean ancient (some 7th-6th century B.C.). While we were able to see many different areas I fell over (figuratively, sometimes) with seeing the Acropolis – an interesting image at the beginnings of democracy, Delphi, what remains is massive and seems to be never-ending, and Olympia, even though it was a down-pour Bryan took a lap in the ancient stadium. The most beautiful sight was Santorini (the one you see pictures of with white homes with blue roofs) It is not a lie, that is what it is and it was just as beautiful. We got to go to the volcanic island and see some amazing formations and calderas while looking into one of the largest calderas on earth (the center of the Santorini island ring).
One of the best things about the trip is that 34 people left for Greece and 34 returned, it was an amazingly successful trip, and I feel completely blessed for being given this opportunity

Her first day home

Well, it actually happened. We found a dog, that acts like a big dog, and is about 15 pounds. This is Kordilia (AKA Kordi) our new Corgi who is about 1 year old and happy to be at the Becker’s. In fact, I think she would be happy to be anywhere that feeds her and pets her and gives her a corner to hide her toys.

We are getting used to the early morning wake up calls for walks and the lack of ability that she has to fetch as she is too much of a herding dog to understand some things just don’t have a place of their own and can be thrown and moved from place to place.

So now that the embarrassing two week obsession is over, I have moved on to more important things, like Frodo and the desire for a dog.

First off, I have to admit to a major fault in my character and history, I have never read Lord of the Rings, or any other Tolkien for that matter. But began the journey not too long ago and cannot believe my foolishness for not reading this before. It is incredible, and I have become hooked into this epic that I know the ending, but feel as on the edge of my seat as ever any book has sent me.
I will not review the book or say anything else really, for many others who are brighter and wittier than I have done that so many times before.
Another area overpowering my life right now is the desire for a dog. Yes, any dog. Bryan and I both know that this desire is a bit misplaced (as many of you can guess the true desire) but I have done a lot of questioning my desire and while it happens to occur at the same time as the other, I do truly desire a dog as well. However, Bryan and I want a large dog, but alas, no can do with the current lease, so we are now embarking on a smaller dog search and coming up empty handed. Does anyone know of a smaller dog (no more than 20 pounds) that is not a yipper and is not overwhelmingly crazy? Basically, does anyone know of a smaller dog that acts like a larger dog?
Well, this is what is new in my life, simply put, I am enjoying myself.

Well, it is official, in two weeks I read all four books in Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series. How do I feel? Ridiculously silly actually, I never grab books up and get so absorbed that it takes me 2 weeks to just finish them so they will be out of my life. I was impressed with Twilight, I fell quickly in love with the characters, her writing was modern, take that as you wish, I was a bit distracted by so many prepositions at the end of sentences. Overall however, combining classic works in literature into the book made me fairly intrigued, I found a few new friends as Bryan was in Haiti, only after the first two books I was more in wanting to know where the characters would end up rather than the story itself. While the last two books were interesting, I think they were beyond my actual liking (to each her own on that point) but I had to read them, it was my obsession. I finished, and even watched the movie. I was one of three 20-somethings at the film and actually went by myself to see how I really felt about the movie adaptation. It was sad, tough roles to play as much of the character development came through Bella and Edwards thoughts and not actions it was impossible with the script for any actor to gather the intensity, especially two very young actors. Overall, I agree mostly with Ebert, it reached its target audience, 16 year olds (not me .

So what do I do now that my fairy tale land with vampires and changlings is over? Do I continually analyze how Meyer’s religious beliefs affect the progression of the novels, and also appreciate the importance of marriage, the sanctity of the marriage bed, the desire to not shed blood even when facing the strongest enemy and praise the author for presenting an aversion to the norm of teenage love stories of our culture or do I head back to Lord of Rings? The books I so “wrongly” left (if you ask my husband) for this guilty pleasure.

My guess is that I will enter into the woods again with Frodo, but I do appreciate the diversion. I am not sure whether these books will last much past this generation, but I applaud the author and hope that if more movies continue that they will focus on character and not situational development to carry the viewer along the way into this seemingly realistic, incredibly make-believe land of Twilight.

Thanks for reading my rant, I had to get this off my chest.

Today my husband along with 13 other people arrived safely in Les Cayes, Haiti with their luggage in tow to assist several badly ailed Haitian men, women, and children. Praise God with me for their safe arrival, and for what they are there to do, please also pray that God affects the hearts of the American group in Haiti, and that God is given all the glory through the work of their hands.

Be in prayer also for the school that recently collapsed with 700 still inside, and also that the hurricane that just missed Haiti does not hit Cuba, it would be devastating.

This is just a summary, but God is good and prayers are being answered!

Dear Blog,

I apologize for not coming back to you ever, I sure do miss writing but sleep seems more important as the work weeks keep getting longer. However, you seem to be faithful, you are always there when sleep is not possible. Such as this morning when I realized all too abruptly I royally screwed up an event I am putting on for a group of 130 prospective engineering students. I am working to fix it, but man, this is not good. My mind is racing and I want to fall over at the same time. You are still here however, just waiting to be written on and waiting for words of the simple form, as you would expect no more or no less.

Sometime I will write about life, but now I want to apologize for apathy, working too much, and just plain laziness.

To be truly updated soon.

While I am in Lincoln now and gaining more and more understanding of why I am still in Lincoln I do still find time to head to Omaha and get away from the norm. Today was one of those days. I am instructor of Taekwondo through Taekwondo America in Omaha (but teach in Lincoln). It is a rare occasion that I can make their group gatherings but today was one of those days. It was fun and simple and then I got to go to World Market to get some essentials for my husband and my crazy cooking.

Now comes the finding. I was driving away from World Market, getting lost trying to find the interstate when I saw this sign with the words “Heath” stick out. As I sat at the light and could keep reading the sign read: Gelato Jo’s Daily Special: Heath.

“What? there is a gelato store in Omaha?” This made me excited and nervous, “will anything match what I had while in Italy and England?” I had to find out of course. As I walked in, it was there, the gelato counter, full of yummy goodness waiting for tasting. The outcome: nothing will ever match the Italy gelato, but this sure did match the England version. Go Gelato Jo’s! -1223 S 180th St, Omaha, NE 68130- check it out, I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

So today I had my birthday. In some people’s lives, birthdays are a small event, one that can go without any recognition no problem. Maybe it is the issue that I have always had a summer birthday and never had any celebrations in school or anything that makes me love birthdays. I want to celebrate and celebrate with as many friends as possible.

This year was different. I wanted people to know it was by birthday because, quite frankly, it is exciting that I have been blessed to spend another year in God’s creation serving Him, and because, I am selfish (yes, those are in the same sentence). This year I had four great friends come and help me celebrate and a couple others throughout the week. When creating a facebook event (yes I did it) for the party, I began with the ones that I talked about the party with, then went through the list of names, I was amazed just how many friends I don’t have in Lincoln anymore. In fact, when the movie was over tonight, I finally mourned the loss of many of my friends to different states and countries. I know I have written about this before, but I am having a hard time fighting the desire to become a hermit and not reach out to make more friends in a city I have lived for six years. How do I still feel connected when all my connections leave? I am realizing just how much I rely on friends (and a husband) for feelings of importance and love. To a degree this is good, it is what we are made for, but ultimately it has no real value without significance being found in the one that gave me the gifts to begin with.

Really, I realized tonight, that a good friend is a rare gift, so to Elizabeth, Kira, Kim, Jamie, Melynda, the grad kids, and the rest of you that have left and left a piece of yourself in my life THANK YOU!!! I am forever indebted to your love and kindness, and I ask for prayer as I begin to search out new friendships in Lincoln, with the recognition that you all can never be replaced.

Every so often I get asked the question: Why did you move from the west coast to Nebraska? The question strikes me because I never really ask myself the question, yet it comes up often enough (especially now that I work campus visits for a living) and so I came up with some canned answer for a little while, justifying a decision I never felt needed justifying.

Now that I have lived here six years I feel comfortable, and confident that Lincoln is my home. Not only have I embraced Lincoln, but Lincoln has embraced me. Caused me to love it in such a way that moving will be a strong rip of my life, yet soft in that I know it will welcome me back with open arms if ere I return.

Now moving is not in the near near future, and therefore I feel justified to explain to the world what is found right here in dear ol’ Lincoln, NE.

For starters – The Haymarket, every saturday from April to September the streets are alive with music, produce, people and a genuine atmosphere that we are wanted to join together.

Also in the Haymarket is the Nebraska store in which the first Saturday of every month there are wine tastings from Nebraska vineyards (yes friends, we have many).

My favorite spot in the haymarket is Bread & Cup http://breadandcup.com/. It explains the reason for my love for the place by the homepage and then even more from there.

My husband would shame me for not mentioning Lazlo’s so there you go.

UNL is another amazing location where the Sheldon art gallery, quilt museum, Husker athletics, and more importantly academe reign strong. The culture of knowledge that presents itself with a university downtown strikes me every morning as I bike in to work.

Grace Chapel http://gracepca.com/ my home church, the church that has shown me more about learning and knowing God’s word, the importance of community, the love of Christ, and the TRUTH. This in place has been a second home for 6 years and I am happy to think of making that seven.

The people – everyone mentions midwest hospitality and I would have to agree, the people are nice and care for one another. But they also get angry, frustrated, hurt, excited, happy, and sometimes overjoyed and we get to share in it all. The people here are not hospitable, they are people and they are not ashamed to say it. They are a people while the rest of the world calls them ignorant stand up and ask why, want to learn daily about the things of the world, many of which have travelled all over, and learned more through watching and discussing then I would think I could do in a lifetime. These are brilliant and caring people, striving to know what is best, striving to know what is right, and striving to find ways to help their fellow being. All the while knowing that they cannot do it alone, and failing often. It is a beautiful picture.

There are many more amazing things in Lincoln, but I wanted to express how much I love this city, as the city is changing rapidly for me with most of what I love (people) leaving for new areas, I really wanted to write about why I came and to let everyone know what is right here in Lincoln.